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Goat Simulator Patch 1.1 features a hilarious changelog

• Egon Kilin
• June 4th, 2014

The latest Goat Simulator patch comes with a vast list of additions to the game. Coffee Stain Studios’ patch notes reveals that local splitscreen multiplayer has been added, which allows for up to four goats to be played at the same time. Some more notable additions include a new map, three new game modes, and the ability for goats to ride bikes and longboards. As mentioned by the title, Goat Simulator’s patch 1.1 features a completely hilarious changelog. We’ve handpicked some of the best jokes just so we can share them with you here.

• – The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old
• – Made fun of Michael Bay. Again. Please don’t sue.
• – Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game
• – Stand by for Goatfall
• – Applying plastic wrap around your screen will now give you a 3D-effect.
• – Added VR support
• – Removed VR support
• – You can now swim. Well not really swim, more like float around in a semi-controlled buoyant propulsion fashion.
• – Performed Satanic rituals to summon Phil Fish
• – Added a Capture the Flag game mode.
• – Updated our Meta Score to 91/100.
• – Increased Storm Spirit’s Static Remnant AoE by 15.

The last one in particular(Dota reference) made me laugh quite a bit. On a more serious note, new achievements and powers have been added to Goat Simulator, along with some parkour mechanics. Also, you’ll be happy to know that three more playable goats have been added to the game as well. These new additions have affectionately been named Tornado Goat, Shopping Goat, and Repulsive Goat. Patch 1.1 will take up around 1 GB of hard drive space and comes completely free of charge. You can, and should read the complete patch notes here.

Goat Simulator was released on April 1st (fitting) and was probably meant as more of a joke. Unsurprisingly, Goat Simulator is about you taking on the role of a goat. “Gameplay-wise, Goat Simulator is all about causing as much destruction as you possibly can as a goat. It has been compared to an old-school skating game, except instead of being a skater, you’re a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff. Destroy things with style, such as doing a backflip while headbutting a bucket through a window, and you’ll earn even more points! Or you could just give Steam Workshop a spin and create your own goats, levels, missions, and more! When it comes to goats, not even the sky is the limit, as you can probably just bug through it and crash the game.”